Struggling To Feel
When Sadness Turns Into Numbness
There are times when sadness doesn’t look like crying or shouting. Sometimes, it looks like nothing at all. It’s waking up and feeling so heavy inside that you can’t even access the full range of your emotions anymore. You’re not crying, you’re not angry—you’re just…numb. You’re on autopilot, doing only what’s necessary to keep your life afloat: eating enough to get by, showing up at work or school, caring for your kids or pets, scrolling on your phone because thinking feels like too much.
This “bare minimum mode” is more common than we like to admit, especially for people living with ADHD, chronic stress, or depression.
Why This Happens
When your mind and body have been under prolonged stress—whether it’s external pressures like work, finances, or relationships, or internal struggles like ADHD or depression—your nervous system can essentially shut down. Instead of firing up fight-or-flight responses, your body slips into what’s sometimes called “freeze mode.”
ADHD: Many people with ADHD experience “emotional dysregulation,” where emotions feel more intense or harder to manage. After repeated stress or overwhelm, the brain’s dopamine system becomes depleted, leaving you exhausted and emotionally flat.
Stress: Chronic stress floods your body with cortisol, which over time can dull your emotional responses as a survival mechanism. You stop feeling highs or lows; you just function.
Depression: Depression often masquerades as numbness. Instead of feeling sad, you may feel empty, disconnected, or robotic—doing what you “should” do but feeling no spark.
This is not a character flaw. This is not laziness. This is your nervous system protecting itself after running on overload for too long.
Signs You’re in “Bare Minimum Mode”
You’re doing only the essentials: eating, sleeping, work or school obligations.
You can’t remember the last time you felt genuinely happy or excited.
Things you normally enjoy feel like chores.
You’re forgetting small tasks, losing track of time, or hyperfixating on numbing activities like scrolling or binge-watching.
You’re going through the motions but feel disconnected from life.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself
When you’re in this state, trying to “snap out of it” or overhaul your life can backfire. What you need is gentleness, structure, and small wins.
Name It Without Shame: Recognize that you’re not broken; you’re overwhelmed. Giving it a name (“I’m in bare minimum mode”) can reduce guilt.
Lower the Bar: Pick one or two non-negotiables (eat, shower, take meds) and let everything else wait. This is survival mode, not forever mode.
Sensory Resets: Small sensory experiences (a warm shower, a weighted blanket, sitting outside for 5 minutes) can help your nervous system feel safe again.
Micro-Dopamine Boosts: For ADHD brains, tiny bursts of positive stimulation—like music, movement, or even a favorite scent—can slowly lift you.
Ask for Support: If possible, let someone you trust know how you’re feeling. Sometimes just saying it aloud can be a relief.
Professional Help: If the numbness lingers, therapy, coaching, or medical evaluation can help address underlying depression, ADHD burnout, or stress.
The Bottom Line
Feeling numb doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your body and brain have reached their limit and are trying to protect you. For those of us navigating ADHD, chronic stress, or depression, these shutdown periods can feel scary—but they’re also signals. Signals to slow down, simplify, and tend to ourselves with compassion instead of criticism.
You are not alone. You are not broken. You’re a human with a nervous system doing its best under pressure. And with time, support, and small steps, it’s possible to feel again.