Numb Little Bug
Meaningful Music Series - Post 3
Trigger Warning: This post discusses themes of depression, emotional numbness, and suicidal thoughts, as reflected in the song Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold. Please take care while reading, and prioritize your well-being.
Music is a vital part of my life. The right song can shift my entire mood or help me make sense of what I’m feeling. One of my ongoing passions has been to share songs that carry meaning for me, in hopes that they might help someone else feel seen, understood, or just a little less alone.
Here we have “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold. It captures a very specific and painful feeling: when my depression has dulled everything down—not enough to knock me out completely, but just enough to make me feel disconnected from the world. Like I’m behind glass, watching life happen but not really participating.
Verse 1:
I don't feel a single thing
Have the pills done too much?
Haven't caught up with my friends in weeks
And now we're outta touch
I've been drivin' in L.A
And the world, it feels too big
Like a floating ball that's bound to break
Snap my psyche like a twig
Ooof. That opening. It captures that weird middle ground where the meds are technically working—you’re not drowning, but you’re also not swimming. Just floating. Disconnected.
That line about friends? It gets me. Adult friendships are hard enough, but add depression or ADHD into the mix and it can feel impossible. DBT talks a lot about interpersonal effectiveness, but sometimes the most effective thing I can do is be honest with myself: I want connection, but right now, I don’t have the bandwidth. That’s valid. That’s real. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Pre-Chorus
And I just wanna see
If you feel the same as me
This line feels like a quiet plea: Am I the only one?
And the answer is a loud, resounding NO. This is a common feeling in depression, ADHD, and especially grief—whether it's the loss of someone, something, or even a version of yourself you’re no longer in touch with.
Chorus
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life?
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hangin' by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Like your body's in the room but you're not really there
Like you have empathy inside but you don't really care
Like you're fresh outta love but it's been in the air
Am I past repair?
This is the emotional core of the song. I’ve had days where this chorus felt like it was narrating my life. There’s something painfully relatable about surviving on autopilot—when everything looks “fine” from the outside, but inside, it’s just static.
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not broken. You’re not alone. One of my go-to DBT tools here is radical acceptance. Not to approve of the pain, but to stop fighting its existence. I don’t have to love it. I just have to stop making myself wrong for feeling it.
And hey—if you’ve ever had thoughts of suicide, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. They are signals, not failures. If you’re ever in a place where those thoughts become plans, please reach out. You deserve support.
Post-Chorus
A little bit tired of trying to care when I don't
A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinkin', there's water in my boat
I'm barely breathin', tryna stay afloat
So I got these quick repairs to cope
Guess I'm just broken and broke
I think many of us know that feeling—the patchwork coping strategies, the duct-tape-on-a-dam type of survival. The tiny habits or distractions that used to work don’t anymore. That line—“broken and broke”—hurts because it feels true in those moments, even when it's not the whole story.
This is where distress tolerance comes in for me. DBT talks about short-term tools like:
TIP skills (changing your Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing)
Self-soothing with the five senses (music is one for me)
Distraction (yes, even binge-watching something safe and comforting counts)
These aren’t long-term solutions—but they can keep the boat afloat when the water’s rushing in.
Verse 2
The prescription's on its way
With a name I can't pronounce
And the dose I gotta take
Boy, I wish that I could count
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to start or adjust meds. It’s exhausting. And sometimes I feel guilty for needing them at all. But that’s the thing about emotional regulation—it’s not about being weak or broken, it’s about understanding that the brain, just like the body, sometimes needs a little help.
Pre-Chorus
'Cause I just wanna see
If this could make me happy
Chorus
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life?
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hangin' by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Like your body's in the room but you're not really there
Like you have empathy inside but you don't really care
Like you're fresh outta love but it's been in the air
Am I past repair?
Post-Chorus
A little bit tired of trying to care when I don't
A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinkin', there's water in my boat
I'm barely breathin', tryna stay afloat
So I got these quick repairs to cope
Numb Little Bug gives voice to something so many people feel but don’t say out loud. If that’s you? I see you. There’s nothing wrong with needing “quick repairs” just to get through the day. But you also deserve tools that build longer-term healing, not just survival.
Whether it’s therapy, medication, mindfulness, DBT skills, or just letting yourself rest without guilt—you are not past repair.
Stay soft. Stay curious. And if you’re tired, it’s okay to pause—not to quit, but to catch your breath.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it helps with your personal growth and that it benefits the community you share that growth with. I can’t wait to share more of my Meaningful Music with you!
Special shout out to Em Beihold! Follow them wherever you listen to music!!