Reclaiming Your Reality
Healing After Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a deeply disorienting form of emotional abuse. It distorts your perception of reality, makes you question your memories, and chips away at your ability to trust yourself.
If you’ve left—or are beginning to leave—a gaslighting partner, you may still be carrying the invisible wounds: second-guessing your feelings, replaying conversations in your head, or wondering if you were the problem. You weren’t.
Here’s the truth: You are not broken. You were manipulated. And you can heal.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Truth Without Minimizing It
It’s common to downplay what happened, especially when the abuse was subtle:
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“They didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“Maybe I was too sensitive.”
You don't need to justify your pain. Emotional abuse is real. Gaslighting is real. It’s okay to name it and feel anger, sadness, grief, or even relief. Recognizing what happened is the first act of reclaiming your truth.
Step 2: Rebuild Trust With Yourself
Gaslighting teaches you to doubt your instincts. Healing means slowly learning to trust them again.
Try this:
Journaling: Write down your thoughts and reactions to everyday events. Over time, you'll see patterns that reinforce your intuition.
Body awareness: If something makes you anxious or sick to your stomach, don’t ignore it. Your body often knows the truth before your mind does.
Daily affirmations: Remind yourself, “I am allowed to trust my feelings,” or “My perception is valid.”
Step 3: Relearn What Healthy Communication Looks Like
Gaslighting thrives in chaos, contradiction, and control. Healthy relationships are built on consistency, respect, and mutual understanding.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel safe expressing disagreement?
Am I being listened to without defensiveness or blame?
Do I feel emotionally safe around this person?
You deserve relationships where clarity is the norm—not confusion.
Step 4: Surround Yourself With Grounding People
Being around people who reflect back reality can be healing. Seek out friends, family, or communities that:
Validate your experiences
Don’t make you second-guess your story
Celebrate your growth, even when it’s slow
If your social circle was damaged by the relationship, rebuilding it might feel daunting. Start small—reach out to one person you trust, or join a support group or online community for survivors.
Step 5: Work With a Therapist (If You Can)
Therapy—especially trauma-informed or abuse recovery therapy—can be life-changing. A good therapist won’t tell you what to think or feel; they’ll help you hear your own voice again.
If therapy isn't accessible right now, consider books, podcasts, or free worksheets focused on narcissistic abuse or complex trauma. You're not alone in this.
Step 6: Give Yourself Time—And Permission
You might feel frustrated at how long healing takes. One moment you feel powerful; the next you’re triggered by a smell, a song, or a phrase they used to say.
That’s normal.
Recovery isn’t linear. Every time you choose yourself—your peace, your reality, your boundaries—you’re rewiring what love looks like. You're teaching yourself that you are safe now.
You Are Not What They Made You Feel
Gaslighting can leave you feeling small, confused, and unworthy. But those feelings came from them, not from who you are.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not imagining things.
You are not hard to love.
You are healing, bravely and honestly. And that deserves to be honored.
If you’re still in the process of leaving a gaslighting partner, or struggling with the aftermath, you are not alone. Reach out to trusted people, local resources, or professionals who can walk alongside you.
Your clarity is coming back. Your voice is getting louder. Your light is still there.